The (dated) Art of Graduation Etiquette

I have 30 days until graduation, and along with my overpriced cap and gown (a whopping $75) came 10 FREE graduation announcements. I am the most anti-graduation memorabilia purchaser ever. I didn't buy senior portraits in high school and I don't plan on it in college. They charge insane prices, something like $90 for three 8x10s, and make you take ridiculous poses (this isn't preschool!). No thank you Herff Jones.

I am a fan of tradition and sophistication, but the formality behind graduation announcements is unnecessary. How are we supposed to live small and decrease the amount of waste we produce if every graduation announcement comes in TWO envelopes?? I swear these things haven't changed since my mom was in college.

Outer envelope? Inner envelope? Name cards? Foil etiquette seal?

Really?

I'm surprised Herff Jones or Universities haven't produced an electronic graduation invitation. That'd be pretty cool, OR it'd even be cool if they used less paper. In the end, I printed out 10 copies of a recent photo of myself at CVS for $3, since half the family I'm sending the annoucement to I haven't seen since I was 10. It might be good if they remember me.

But you can consider this post a formal invitation to my graduation...
and maybe a job offer?